Your Birthday

it's the same as Samantha's.
so in this dream i had,
i was telling people about that,
and you got all mad -
not scary mad, like before -
just funky mad.
it was more like the principal didn't want this spread around
and i don't know why
but we both know you and you have to follow rules.
so,
i got a two-week detention
and i couldn't eat lunch with you
and you wouldn't let me in the classroom
and everyone was laughing
but you forgave me
because that's what you do.
so forgive me
and remind me to forgive myself.

Sam's poem

Hi Harper,
It's me, Sam. I'm glad you are finally here. Look, I know things are crazy between you and me and Piper and Linsi but I really want everything to work out.
Oh, and sorry I'm posting on your blog, but I thought I'd try my hand at poetry.
~Sam

"Growing Up and Growing Apart"
yesterday
you were asking when
my tryouts would be
will you be there to cheer me on
and even if you're gone
i'd know you're thinking of me

today
you want to know how soon,
how fast,
your crown can get here
so we can crown you queen of the world
and you can forget about your minions like me.

best friends?
not so,
not when you refuse to acknowledge me,
or don't respect my feelings,
or never listen.
i hope it can change.

Found on the Magnetic Poetry Locker at MB's Work

"romance is a search for poetry."

i find poetry
though, despite best efforts,
i have not found romance.
perhaps, romance in another sense of the word:
romance of literature,
friendship,
history.
but romantic love?
no.
perhaps then,

"poetry is a search for romance."

Ooh, cha cha!

arrival check-up
someone
told me
this place was
TOTALLY different
than it has turned out to be.

Sam,
for example,
is not shy at all.
In fact, yesterday
we played
"Tell All"
and she came in first.

Of course we were talking about boys.
In Morocco,
if anyone but my mum and dad found out,
I would have been labeled
BAD INFLUENCE
but no one ever tells anything about sleepovers anyway...
and it seems to be the same in America.

Strange how I feel so out of place
and in place
at the same time.
This is where I belong -
O summer days of long -
and even though it seems to be
that sun is burning down on me
odd how it feels so different than home.

List of friends:
-Piper, the crazy heiress one
the one who decides
we are going tanning
and then insists we wear sunscreen
-Sierra, the artistic one
the one who decides
we're not going to be part of the group
the one who matches me best
-Sam, the "shy" one
the one who acts like the princess she is
but not when she's alone with us
then she's normal
-Kailey, the surfer
the other writer
the one who gets in on crazy ideas
and actually follows through
-Linsi, the journalist
sometimes she's serious,
and sometimes not,
I can't figure her out,
but she's nice.
-Lissie, the silent leader
and lots of other girls.
they are all beautiful
they are all my friends...

dream
you turned into your father
and refused to aknowledge me
like i was me
and then,
you didn't want to go camping
and were afraid of bugs
and oh stars,
if you were afraid of camping,
you wouldn't be yourself,
miss I-went-Tent-Camping
and laughing at my toilets!

Here!

I'm finally here and it's here that I'll stay
Today just feels like so happy a day
Been here for a few now
It won't ever end
I'm here with my new bunch of really good friends!

First there was the trouble with gossip
Then I realized they weren't caught up
With preparing for my arrival
But I'm OK - it's my survival
That's the most important thing

And I'm here with new friends
Will it be to the end?
I'm not sure but we'll see
If they like me for me.

I Want to Fly

better than yesterday
but worse than today
trapped inside this asylum
(calls itself an embassy)
no access to civilization
'cept for 1 call an 'our

only reason i'm writing:
miss begley was the one i called today
was going to post a general update
but she told me lanier had a poem on mockingbirds
and supposedly,
that makes me the shakespeare of birds
may i get my wings and fly.

(PS: I found a few poems I wrote earlier on the journey over... here, so I'll post them when I actually get to OWT! Oh, grr. I called MB yesterday and dictated something to have her type up, but I wasn't in a poem-writing mood. Thankfully she lost it and I was in that kind of mood today!)

Lanier's poems (check them out!)

Detained

I'm here!
Finally, home
In the place he called home
Not sure where I stand
But my father once placed his feet
Upon this very ground

I'm here -
I'm not.
I am an American -
For real this time -
I'm not.
I'm Arabic, half-arabic
Half-arabic too much
I'm Muslim, all-muslim
All-muslim too much
I'm stuck at this checkpoint
And there's no way around it.

Explaining the last poem...

I got the title from the first and last lines combined.

It's about my idol who helps me through everything and unknowingly helped this past year.

The line about mothers is about her being a mother, but not mine, but like a mother to me. Yesterday means last year. That is about all that needs explaining, I think, or that I want to explain.

Bad Dream, and a poem with lots of symbolism (for me at least)

Bad Dream

dad announces he is going to iraq
mum tells me on the phone
we'll be fine, he said, mum explains,
he says i feed the baby well
that's why he accepted
what baby? i am too afraid to ask
how much have i missed in only three weeks
thank God it was a dream
but why did it seem so real

how did i reason why?

how did i survive yesterday?
a sideways glance,
an utterance of intolerance -
would you have been proud of me,
standing by
while being mortified?
hoping, wishing
maybe - it is just a phase -
this is just the same.

looking through a mother's eyes -
not my mother, just a -
how does this reside?

do you feel the power you hold
as stories of past years unfold
my hidden strength has multiplied
and you my dear are reason why.

hallelujah

here
in california
the sun is shining
as bright as even
casablanca
rabat
"here's looking at you, kid."
even if the sun was not shining
and rain was falling
and thunder drumming
i would be happy
as it is the weather of adventure

Aha! Thoughts

american history 101
ooooooooooh
shooby-doop shooby-wop
shooby-dah-lah
i'm in america!
there's history and culture like never before
so much more i have in store!
shooby-dooop shooby-wop
shooby-dah-lah
i'm in america!

what if i really was...?
sometimes i wish i'm really her
that famous author
that h a r p e r l e e
who
hid away
and contemplated
life
however
i'm much more partial
to friendship
in a different way than
my namesake

Road Trip

swishing, swoshing
through-the-mud driving
moving, meeting
in-your-face greetings
what's this feeling
head is reeling
want to go to sleep but
still more states to go

Anticipation

waiting
for what might not come
a simple gift
yet so hard to get
and waiting
for the inevitable
the one thing
i'm not sure i want

Really Random poems and stuff

I wrote a poem, and then I was writing another one but it turned into a song. I'm in a really weird mood right now!!

blah
feeling...

bored.

feeling...

tired.

wanting...

you.

song for you

verse 1
last night i called your home
something wrong and I don't know
what got into me but i say
every day you live a new day
last night you weren't home
is she safe or did she go it alone?
your doggy's there, holding you tight
there wasn't a purpose in that call last night

chorus
did i say the wrong thing?
because it seemed like you were upset
that i didn't want to talk about you
but that was honestly why i called
i guess, you should read between the lines a bit more
see what's in store
for you
it's something new

verse 2
every morning wake up tired and stressed
pick out an outfit, i get dressed
every morning feel me waiting for you
i kinda get you're feeling it too
every morning you're at school
following behind me
do you think i don't see?
do you think i don't want it too?

chorus

bridge
say i can see you cry
say you don't want to say goodbye
why didn't i say i'd miss you
when that's obviously what you wanted

verse 3
prone to emotional outbursts only when you're there
prone to emotional outbursts when you've got your hands on my hair
not gonna say it, not until i'm in your arms again
tell me when...

chorus

"In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel

love I get so lost, sometimes

days pass and this emptiness fills my heart

when I want to run away

I drive off in my car

but whichever way I go

I come back to the place you are

all my instincts, they return

and the grand facade, so soon will burn

without a noise, without my pride

I reach out from the inside

in your eyes

the light the heat

in your eyes

I am complete

in your eyes

I see the doorway to a thousand churches

in your eyes

the resolution of all the fruitless searches

in your eyes

I see the light and the heat

in your eyes

oh, I want to be that complete

I want to touch the light

the heat I see in your eyes

love, I don't like to see so much pain

so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away

I get so tired of working so hard for our survival

I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

and all my instincts, they return

and the grand facade, so soon will burn

without a noise, without my pride

I reach out from the inside

in your eyes

the light the heat

in your eyes

I am complete

in your eyes

I see the doorway to a thousand churches

in your eyes

the resolution of all the fruitless searches

in your eyes

I see the light and the heat

in your eyes

oh, I want to be that complete

I want to touch the light,

the heat I see in your eyes

in your eyes in your eyes

in your eyes in your eyes

in your eyes in your eyes

in your arms

i rushed to you
but instead of making myself uncomfortable
you made me welcome
and i melted in your arms
and you held me there
and i didn't want to let go
and i did,
but you didn't want to let go either
so maybe that's why you've been talking to me all this time.

"You're Beautiful" by James Blunt (Edited for a girl version by Harper Lee Simmons)

"You're Beautiful"
My life is brilliant.My life is brilliant.My love is pure.I saw an angel.Of that I'm sure.He smiled at me on the subway.He was with another woman.But I won't lose no sleep on that,'Cause I've got a plan.You're beautiful. You're beautiful.You're beautiful, it's true.I saw your face in a crowded place,And I don't know what to do,'Cause I'll never be with you.Yeah, he caught my eye,As we walked on by.Hecould see from my face that I was,Flying high, And I don't think that I'll see him again,But we shared a moment that will last till the end.You're beautiful. You're beautiful.You're beautiful, it's true.I saw your face in a crowded place,And I don't know what to do,'Cause I'll never be with you.You're beautiful. You're beautiful.You're beautiful, it's true.There must be an angel with a smile on his face,When hethought up that I should be with you.But it's time to face the truth,I will never be with you.

For the people I love

forgiveness

today was the happiest day
the look of surprise on your face
was the greatest look i've ever seen
though i think you appreciated what we did
and you said we reminded you of you
and believe me,
the only time i've ever been complimented like that before
was when someone else gave me a one-minute speech on why he admired me
and i wanted to say,
is that all you think of me?
even if it is,
that’s an awfully nice friendship beginning.

leather pants are not acceptable

please.

if you are a guy,
leather pants are not acceptable.
especially if they are tight,
especially if they are worn with a spiked collar and bracelet,
especially if they are worn with a matching leather vest,
especially if you are wearing makeup

i don’t care what the hell you are doing
i don’t care if you are in a play
seriously
stripper-monkey costumes are not for good boys-next-door
and besides
i like the nerd look on you
but i'm a bit disturbed by how it sort-of didn’t disturb me

this morning was beautiful

this morning was beautiful
i opened my cookie jar
and took out the box
that holds my connecton to you
i opened the box, and,
by some strange coincidence,
the necklace wasn't knotted
i put it on
and my strength, my support -
my best friend! -
was back.

Me the Mockingbird

I'm like a bird
I wanna fly away
I don't know where my home is

I thought it was here but now I wonder
If I am leaving my home
Or I am going to find it

My Teacher is a Werewolf

I
A
M
ANGRY

Just in case you wanted to know.
We had everything planned out
and now you're just in the way.
How can we do it when our teacher is a werewolf on the loose?
You are following me everywhere.
It's disgusting
I dont' care if you want to know if I'm mad
Of course I'm mad
And you don't have to fake a smile
Cos I know what's going on
How can we do it if Professor Lupin can bite anyone in sight?
I used to think you were like Lupin
I used to think you were special
But now you're just following with those fake
Rabid smiles
I just hope it's only
Because you forgot to take your potion
How can we do it when we don't have a time machine?
I want to go back and re-organize
Show you what we have planned
All your questions are answered
If you'd only take a look
How can we do it, Hermione?
I would love for him to ask me that
Maybe then I'll think of an answer

Note: In case you didn't figure it out, the name of the poem is "My Teacher is a Werewolf" and it starts with the line "I AM ANGRY!"
Background to this poem: After the Incident with Someone whose name will not be mentioned, she was following us, I swear. And it was annoying. And I had that song in my head and it fit. It's just like it seems like a great idea, but everything is getting in the way and I just wish we could go back and fix it and make everything we presented more organized. Instead we are stuck with this mess.

I write a sonnet

I couldn't remember how to write a sonnet (BAD HARPER!) so I had to go look it up on a website. I didn't really have any reason to write one until today, when inspiration hit... yes, I'm angry. Angry that she couldn't believe in me when I am leaving her so soon. Angry that I didn't have time to establish trust. Angry that maybe I made a mistake in loving her, though I don't see how it was a risk... I find romances much more risky and this relationship seemed somehow guaranteed.

Who are you?
Strong and silent like the Virgin Mary
Speaking up when it is what’s right
Knowing what is fully necesscary
Don’t ask how I know about the Mother
Muslim raisèd and faith was gainèd here
It’s just somehow you remind me of Her
But lately I find that image tapered
Now you take the path of least resistance
You are not the woman I admired
Have I misjudged somehow your character?
I don’t like at all what I now picture

Gag
This is you before:
Inspiration to all of us.
You showed us what to do,
how to do it,
when to do it,
why to do it,
what mistakes not to make.
You taught us life lessons.
You made sure we didn't go back on our word.
You made sure we learned something
Even if it wasn't the Council of Worms.
You talked to us
You got to know us
You followed our passions and made them yours.

This is you before:
Beautiful
Wonderful
The best teacher in forever
Flawless
Sweet
Kind
Knowing
Caring
Model citizen

This is you now:
You say I'm funny
You don't believe in me
What was once your passion
Is just now a passing interest
For it is too embarassing to show
You kick us out of your room
You tell us it's impossible
You give in too easily
And get mad when we question
You pretend you care
But then call up your husband and talk about yogurt
You don't even try to make conversation
It's like you wanted to get to know us
But now that you do, you regret it
Yet you keep saying you're proud of me

This is you now:
Fake

This is what I want to know:
Why does everything you do
go back on everything you've taught us?
Why are you making me gag?

Touche!

hard for me to realize
that it's all over now
we've been stabbed
our family unit's gone
touche! cried the school letter
aha! cried the knight
well, said i
what's this chain mail for?
i won't give up the fight
no i refuse to realize
that it's all over now

Typing Errors

the first time i typed up the poem about my cross-country tour
i wasn't really paying attention
i was in poetry mode
and everything was flowing from my soul
and my fingers weren't listening to my mind
and i put fifteen instead of fifty
and then i reread it, just to see what i'd written
and it came out as fifteen states
not fifty
so i had to edit it
but sometimes i think i should have left it at fifteen
it would have softened the blow
fifteen states would take less time
or at least i could spend more time at each one
fifty states in fifteen days isn't great
but fifteen states in fifteen days would be okay
and my father,
i don't think he's seen fifteen either
i think he counted off fourteen
so it would still be true.
last year i was fifteen
i think the number fifteen is a good number to be.

I go for a walk

Today I went down to HIS house... yes I've been there before but I've actually caught the streetcar and didn't walk until today, even though he lives on my street. Just so you understand the poems.

Dead Poet Society
Today I am beautiful
Long flowing pink skirt
Dead poet society

Today I actually ring his doorbell
And don’t run away before it’s answered
I stand there, but of course, he isn’t home.

Expectations
"Do you want to stay over for dinner?"
Really, I would, but I have to go…
"Well… I’ll see you at school then."
If you want you can come back over to my house
If you don’t mind stopping over at the family friends’
"No, I don’t mind"
We have a swing and snacks you could munch on

Reality
"Hello, Dad, can you come here?"
Hi, is the boy home?
"No he isn’t"
Well can you give this to him then?
"Sure"
"Hi," his dad says
He knows who I am
I explain: I copied a CD for him and
I figured I’d drop it off since I was around here
By this point my voice has dropped off
"Okay"
I didn’t realize how much of a walk that really was
And when I call his phone it’s his sister who answered
And it makes me wonder where he really is
And it makes me wonder who he really is
And it makes me wonder who I really am

العربيّة

this is an arabic translation of the poem i wrote called "arabic"

العربيّة
في المغرب
يكتبون باستخدام اللّغة العربيّة
أعداد و العربيّة.
و في أمريكا
و في مكتب أبي
يكتبون يستعملون لغة
أعداد و العربيّة.
لذلك سوف لدىني بعض أيضا بأمل المغرب على المدرسة
يمكن أن أكاتب العربيّة أعدادا و ملك لذاكرة.
كتبت أستعمل لغة العربيّة.
تكلمت أستعمل لغة العربيّة.
يقول أبي يمكن أن أحضر وظيفة مدهشة,.
بسبب يمكن أن أتكلم العربيّةو ( أحب قبل )
أقول, يجب ( يكون ذلك رهيب اضطر بأن قاتل إرهابيين
لا أتمنى بأن أعرف أي.
إن كل أصدقائي العربيّة لطيفون.
لا أريد بأن أعش مع الضرر أمريكا.
هل سوف يحتك علي عن أيضا?

Not in the Mood, Arabic

not in the mood
oh, i don't feel like writing poetry today
can i leave that in my past
too much effort
and i am hungry
but we don't eat for another two hours
so i'm leaving for the market to get a snack
but i think i'll stop by the boy instead

Explanation about the 2:30 am post:
Yeah that wasn't really me. LOL. I had sent it to Sam, my guide or whatever, and she said she was starting a blog for me and that was the first post, so I said that was fine. Where she is/the school is it was 5:30 PM the previous day, so I am NOT staying up late writing poetry again, Mum, if you're reading this...

arabic
in morocco
they write using the arabic language
and arabic numerals
and in america
and in my dad's office
they write using the english language
and arabic numerals
so hopefully i'll still have some of morroco at school
i can write my arabic numerals and remember
i once wrote using the arabic language
i once spoke using the arabic language
i could get an amazing job, my father says
because i can speak arabic and english (just like him)
i say, that must suck, having to fight terrorists
i don't wish to know any
and all my arabic friends are nice
i don't want to live with the prejudice of america
will it rub off on me too?

Cross-Country Trip, Army Brat

cross-country trip
mum says
you are going to tour the us before you arrive
it will be an experience
we want you to see where your father is from
before i can protest
my dad says harper this is the chance of a lifetime
i've never even seen all fifty states
you're even bypassing ca and seeing hawaii and alaska
yes it is the chance of a lifetime
but why can't they come too?

army brat
friend one says you get whatever you want
friend two calls me an army brat
friend three complains she'll be stuck here her whole life
i've only been to france, i protest, and i hated it
living here is much better
and my dad's in the foreign service, not the army
but the one good thing about a cross-country tour is
i might see a mockinbird
a real, live mockingbird
the kind i was named after
harper lee simmons

Sisters, Writing School

Sisters
Samantha asks have you seen The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Yes, I say
I read about it online
And I made the bookstore owner order it for me
I had to remind him five times
But it finally arrived
And the next one
And the next
And I fell in love
And I wanted a sisterhood of my own

----------------------
Writing School
Samantha writes letters to her dead mum
Kira and Linsi do the newspaper
Marie and Molly write songs
Kailey writes stories
It seems like a writing school
I write poetry
I fit in

Battlefield

and i can't hack my way through thebattlefield...

someone said

change will be good

meet new friends

forget the past

what past?

do I have a past to forget?

so far my life has been good

now it's all tumbleweeds and overgrown grass

and i can't hack my way through the battlefield

and i feel like i'm falling apart

and is moving away the way to put me back together

if that's what's ruined me in the first place?

Acceptance Letter and random poems to friends

Miss Colleen B.
Shoreline Private Boarding School
OWT Program
3174 N. Shoreline Boulevard
Shoreline, CA 94043


Harper Lee Simmons
MY ADDRESS WAS HERE
Morocco

Dear Harper,

Congratulations on your acceptance to the Our World Today (OWT) program! As you already know, OWT is an exclusive and competitive program that receives thousands of applicants per year. The following letter contains information about your acceptance:
You are being sponsored by the head teacher, Miss Colleen B. The students refer to her as MB. Your term will begin in May. The "OWT girls", as they like to call themselves, are hosting a May Fair on May 20 to honour your acceptance and arrival.
Your arrival is set via airplane and ground travel starting May 1. Please make arrangements with parents, friends, and relatives to send any mail starting on this day to:
Shoreline Private Boarding School
OWT Program
Attention: Harper Simmons
3174 N. Shoreline Blvd
Shoreline, CA 94043
We have also provided you with a Shoreline email address. Please go to www.shoreline.edu/webmailsetup/ to activate your account. Your class code is XXXXXXXXX and your password is XXXXXXXXXXXXX. Your identity is Harper Lee Simmons. Please refer to MB or your student guide for information on the OWT forums and website.
As you were aware of when you applied for the program, the OWT term runs year-round. There is a three-week break between each term. Terms are Autumn, Winter, Spring, and Summer. During the Summer term, which is actually the heaviest term, we take many field trips.
[A bunch of other stuff about the school year]
Your student guide will be Samantha Parkington. She can be reached via thatannoyinggroupie on both the forums and email or call our phone number and ask for extension SAMP. Please contact her to find out more information or to make special arrangements, or just to ask questions. Her job is to make you comfortable.
If you wish to join the Shoreline Student (OWT's newspaper), please visit its website.
etc, etc
Sincerely,
the principal or whatever

Note left on kitchen table:
Dear Mum and Dad, I went over to the market because I wanted to get some snacks as we obviously have none left in the pantry again. See note of acceptance and thank you for your lovely submission of the application without my permission, but it really does sound like a great school and I am excited except I will miss you. - HARPER PS: I actually filled out the application and sent it in but you know what I mean. I was going to add another essay.

Poem left for THE BOY on his doorstep on "the way to the market":
Me,
harper lee
famous author
does it matter?
for which we call a rose by any other name
would smell as sweet

Me,
harper simmons
skipping town
going on an adventure
all the way to america
leaving you

Me,
harper someone
confused, wondering why I'm going away
is education really that important
deny thy father and refuse thy name
and i'll no longer be a capulet

I haven't seen the boy since. I've been too busy packing and getting my accounts and visas ready. I'm excited, I am. It's just... weird. I've wanted this boarding school ever since I read about it in American Doll a year ago and I finally got it and now I don't know if it's what's for me.

Letter to my friends to be mailed on my last day:
GIRLFRIENDS
missing you already
feeling you holding me
that last hug was so sweet
chocolate chip cookies straight from the oven
lemonade on a hot summer day
(or any moroccan day for that matter)
wondering if you really care
or were the cookies burnt
look soft but really aren't
did you make the lemonade too sour
or are you pretending you don't care
so i don't have to
are you being crisp on the outside and
warm-gooey-soft on the inside
sugar snuck into the lemonade
i'd rather we just let it all spill out
we don't have that much time left to share